Going In and Coming Out (C. Wilde)

Love: I, and many others, have a tendency of going into romantic relationships holding onto baggage that we picked up in previous relationships. I also have a tendency of thinking it is going to be all champagne and strawberries, lust, romance, laughs and snuggles and well the real world doesn't always allow for that. I go into everything with a full head of steam, full speed ahead and I think more with my heart than my mind....this has seemed to fail me at times and I come out the other side of relationships spent, exhausted, beat up and hating myself.

I feel like entering a romantic relationship is like trying to enter a department store called "LOVE"....this is the big New York City style store, one like I have never experienced, but that all the pretty people on T.V. get to shop at. The large spinning door in front tempts me to enter, I sometimes get caught going round and round but never actually entering the store. Depending on how I feel about myself at the time, I might just walk past the store thinking I don't look good enough to go in today or I am not like the other people in there so rather than not fit in, I just keep moving on my own.

Sometimes I actually get in the door, but I haven't always known what I was looking for. Browsing is only amusing for so long, eventually I want to find what I am looking for. I need the perfect pair of shoes that I can wear with almost everything in my closet, the pair that fit just right and makes me feel better about myself while wearing them. I want shoes that look good on their own, I want them to accentuate me, but to be able to stand on their own. Maybe I will find them, maybe I will not.

After time, eventually I will have to leave the store....my credit may run out, I might have to move to looking in another store, or I might just have to think on my purchase awhile longer. Either way, I walk out with knowledge, a better understanding of myself and what I am looking for. Sometimes I walk out of the store sad, at other times smiling, but all in all I keep walking to shop another day.

I came out of my last relationship devestated, but I am open to what is yet to come. Better matches are out there, and I have no expectations.....only the hopelessly romantic and romantically hopeful wish of finding true love.

First star to the right and on til morning, my happy thoughts and fantasies will keep me going in and coming out of the store of "LOVE"

C. Wilde