Trust

I was asked very politely last evening "to just trust me to take care of you." He calls me "his love", "his baby" and so many other sweet things. He is the first person I haven't hid anything from, I figure at this point in my life, I am who I am and I would rather be rejected early on, than hide something and be hurt later. He has taken it all in stride and mostly with a cool calm smile. Obvioiusly, I have trusted him with more that most people get out of me and he is still around. He doesn't ask me to change but makes me want to be better. I don't ask him to change and yet he makes delightful changes that make me smile. He knows I am a bit crazy and emotional and he says "I love you and I know that I can't just pick and choose the pieces of you I want." ---is he for real??? I am worried I am going to wake up from this nice dream. He is sweet, He can be romantic, He is smart, He is hilarious and He likes me for me.

But trust, to just let go of my past hurts and give into the comfort of his embrace is hard. I want to just melt into what he so freely gives. We have a quiet comfort at times, he is doing one thing and I another and yet we are enjoying that cozy time in the same room. Why is it so hard to just let go and enjoy, to trust that someone will take care of me and look out for me? I admit, I grew up a bit fast and have always had an independant persona to get me through the hard times, I don't think I have ever felt safe enough to put down that sheild and really let someone in to see all that I am. I want to and his gentle coaxing may be working.

Here's to laying down the shield and enjoying the comfort. To being the princess I have always wanted to be and having someone take care of me for awhile.

We are going on a camping trip this weekend.(weather permitting...as the rain has tampered undelightfully with the last two weekends that we had planned.) I am excited for our first overnight trip together. I am excited to see how well we work together in an outdoors situation. But most of all, he told me to leave my Dom panties in the next county and let him take care of me and I am excited and scared to lay it all down and let him be the man. I want to trust him to be good to me, look out for me and bring me pleasure. I hope all goes well!

C. Wilde