Nightmares of Main Street

Not many people know that I suffer from tremendous night terrors. I have can still remember dreams from my childhood years that haunt me. I journal them usually and try to work it out. Normally they aren't too bad and I go right back to sleep, or just snuggle closer to someone or my teddy bear, Cashew. The last really bad one I had was last fall while living in Milbank, but after that one it has been pretty minute.

Last night I had a bad one, as usual, I know I am dreaming and I am just trying to wake myself up before it gets too scary. I try so hard to wake up all the time! Anyway here is an account of last nights dream:

I awoke held down to my bed by an unseen force. Words appeared on the wall over my closet--I Know Who You Are. I prayed in my dream to be released. The words started to run down the walls like blood. When the energy holding me down let go, I ran to my roommates room to wake him. I was out of breathe and couldn't explain what was going on. I was crying and he laughed at me. I saw someone walk into my room from the corner of my eye and I yelled and went after them. I ran toward the door, but found myself in a dark fetish club. Slave boys were serving drinks in leather harnesses and a mean looking Mistress dressed in rubber was behind the bar. I was dizzy. I couldn't get my barings. Then I saw my friend Kye coming toward me. She had a drink in one hand. She ran into a table and spilt her drink. She was cursing when I saw the Mistress come from behind the bar in a flash, struggling with Kye to get the glass from her. I stepped in to help Kye, she was crying and yelling. The Mistress glared at me. My hand brushed across her black rubber skirt and suddenly I became elated with eroticism. I smiled. I was happy and forgot everything going on around me.

The next thing I knew, Kye and I were sitting on a rocky hill with others, drinking. The steep hill looked over a dark gravel road. We slid down the hill side trying to get away from something. We were walking along the gravel road, when a blond man and a darker man came from the shadows. Suddenly Kye was gone and I was alone. I yelled and struggled and tried to run. My purse was ripped from my arm. The blonde man was burning me hand with his cigarette to get me to tell him something. He made references to the words on my wall and that I would suffer. The dark man held me down and was choking me. I struggled and passed out, knowing the entire time I was dreaming. I searched to find my way to the waking world--Finally I work up 45minutes after I had layed down. I was choking and couldn't catch my breath and began to cry as soon as I could.


---I really woke up scared. I texted my friend Kye to see if she was okay. I texted my Dom to get some sort of peace because I coudn't stop crying and I didn't want to go to sleep again.

I did eventually fall asleep and all is fine. I just needed to share, I don't know what it all means.

C.Wilde