New living arrangement

As of yesterday, we live together. I moved most of my stuff into storage. J. Wilde...my ex-roommate and co-founder of this blog is taking a different journey as well. He stayed in our apartment and his current boyfriend is moving in. It is a big deal. The first time he has lived with a significant other. They are both attending college and though his boy is 5 years younger than him, they think they are going to play house and make it work. I can attest to the fact that they fight like and old married couple, so I wish them the best. And they have now taken on the parenting of a kitten, named River and a beta fish.

I also took another direction. After my last year or so of hell and chaos. My ideas that I would live alone.....well now that I am pregnant, things have changed. I now officially live with Chris. We moved the rest of my stuff in yesterday. Nothing has really changed from when I was staying here. We share cooking and cleaning responsibilities. He is very attentive to my needs. I sleep alot, so he still gets time to play video games, which he enjoys. I enjoy going on walks together in the evenings and just cuddling on the couch while we watch a movie.

The plan is for us to live in his place....We live in the basement of a house and have our own living room, bathroom, kitchen, dining area and bedroom and then 3 college boys live upstairs with the same. We plan to be here until the new semester and then move to a place that is completely our own before the baby comes. I started a savings account, beings I am no longer paying rent, I hope to put money away for spring. I have only car insurance, phone, storage rent and food to pay for now. I also need to take care of a few outstanding bills so that I am caught up.

I am most fearful that my work situation will be coming to an end soon and I worry that it will tkae me time to find work again. I can't afford it as I have things to pay and I want to get money put away. I also worry about how long I will be able to work during this pregnancy. I wanted to go back to school, but I think I am behind in my student loans right now and I just don't know if I have the time.

I am excited to go see my kids next weekend and see how things work for Chris and I. I am used to it being chaotic before or after a visit with the kids, that is how Compton made it. There was always a fight before I left or when I got back, and shit would hit the fan while I was away. That was when he would cheat on me. I know Chris isn't like that , and these trips are good, not just to see the boys, but also for me to build trust in Chris and our relationship.

I have been weepy this morning. I think I am nervous about having lunch with Chris' mom today. He told her I was prego. I saw her twice, knowing I was and not saying anything and it makes me feel guilty of lying. Also, he told her not to tell anyone as I could miscarry before 20 weeks. We are at week 14 now.....and I am showing, not alot, but it is noticable. I popped out hard. I can't keep it covered and it makes me nervous around his family and friends that don't know. I don't want to be an embarrassment to him. I worry about him being questioned, so I try to walk behind him in public and not make eye contact with people. I don't know if he is really excited at all about this, I know he cares about me, but I think this pregnancy is more than he wanted. I still am unsure if he is hoping for a miscarriage or what he thinks about.

Oh well, I have to suck it up and go to lunch with is mom, I am sure it will be fine as long as I don't start crying over something.

Wish me luck
C. W.