Well, we enjoyed our first Christmas together. It was wondeful to stay home, snuggle, watch movies, cook, play video games and have lots of intimate time together. It was so nice to just be together : )
The holidays came screaching to a halt the Tuesday before, when my Father had heart attack. All is well now, he was released Christmas day and he and my mom were able to go home and enjoy life together after the close call. It was a blessing to us all!
My loving boyfriend bought be a beautiful black onyx bead set (necklace, bracelet and earrings)...they are lovely! I was so excited to wear them everyday, like a day collar and that added assurance of the weight around my neck made me feel amazing : ) Now today, after wearing them for 3 days straight....and having broke an earring in my sleep last night...I realize, for one, beads are not meant to be worn everyday..they are only held together by a small string or cord and he never said collar, he didn't intend that....I filled in the blank myself to get what I want. I only have myself to blame for disappointment.
Now having said that, our time together this weekend was more than amazing on all levels. We discussed our future in ways that I know he loves me and isn't leaving and we are doing this together, so why do I feel this need for more? I hope it isn't a selfishness in me! He makes me happier than I have been, why is that not enough I wonder...it isn't like an object gives me any more guarantee of our future together than his word....I love him and I need to get past this.
C.
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